I feel excited and nervous to write this, so bear with me!

Back in February, I had an interview for another job. You might think, “Why? Didn’t she already start a new one?” And you’d be right. I started my new role as an Enablement Worker in November and was well into my probation when I realised that the role wasn’t quite what I’d expected and that I was feeling out of my depth. I could feel my mental health declining, and although I appeared ok on the outside, the tears behind closed doors were not something I wanted to admit were happening. Especially, when I’d taken on this new challenge hoping I would be happy in the role. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, the role has been great. It’s been great at taking me outside of my comfort zone and working with individuals on a different spectrum of conditions. I wasn’t just covering mental health, but autism and learning disabilities. But, behind the scenes of working with clients, I felt as though I wanted to do everything the referral stated, and more. I was finding it restrictive and I liked being flexible and creative within my role, which this did not seem to allow. I also found I was missing running groups. Not something I thought I would say! But, running groups provided me a great sense of satisfaction and joy, creativity and confidence. All of which I was starting to lack. It was so hard to admit this, and that’s when I realised something had to change. 

I’m so incredibly grateful to my wife, who has stood by me through this crazy period of my life, once again stepping up and making sure I’m ok. She supported me with the job applications and when I got an interview, she drove me there and waited in the car park for me. I was told the interview would take about 40-minutes, but not to worry if it was shorter. I was there for 2 hours. Needless to say, I owed my wife for being so patient!

The interview was a success, and I was offered two jobs on the spot. A complete surprise and one which would lead me into a bit of turmoil. Change is hard, but making choices is even harder! It took me just short of a week to make the decision; That I would go for the role I had not initially interviewed for. Again, you may question, “why?” And, if I’m completely honest, I came down to two choices: money or happiness.  

Having already felt a decline, I knew I needed something that would help boost my self-esteem, and this meant taking on a slightly “easier” role, as it’s one I’ve been in before. I have been working my notice, and I finished my role on 10th May, allowing myself to have a week to recoup and recover, and reset.

As I write this, I can now say that I’ll be stepping into the shoes of a Peer Support Worker from tomorrow!
Yes, the training begins again, and I am very excited!

I’ll be working with an amazing charity called with Mental Health Matters or MHM, a national non-profit organisation boasting more than 40 years of expertise in providing high-quality mental health and social care services. MHM significantly improves the lives of those in our local communities who require mental health services. Supporting over 15,500 people a month, the goal for MHM is for there to be no stigma in society and for everyone to have access to mental health support in order to have fulfilling lives. MHM aims to give people and communities cutting-edge, transformative mental health support to realise this vision.

I’ll be working for the Safe Haven which will soon be running 24/7 365 days a year! AMAZING! Of course, I won’t be working that much! I’ve negotiated my work hours a little, and I have everything crossed that my health will maintain itself… Though, the unpredictability of chronic illness can be a tad frustrating. After all, my senior mentioned to me that when she saw my pre-employment checks and need for occupational health, that I look like nightmare on paper, and I agree. I do look like a nightmare employee. But, what was nice was the recognition that despite the obstacles life throws at me, I have been able to succeed and not be defined by my differences.

Within this new role, my aim is to build my confidence back up and work towards the Crisis Recovery Worker role. However, I am still completing my HICAT course (I’ve made it half-way through! Yay!) So, I will be taking it relatively easy… Though, if you know me… 😉

Whilst I was not cut out for my previous role, I hope this change brings me greater good. I used to be frightened of change, and whilst the anxiety around it is normal, I’m holding onto hope and embracing it.

Please wish me luck on this new adventure, whether I am in the role for 1 month, 6 months, a year or more. Just because I didn’t stay in my previous role for too long, does not make me a failure. It’s only made me stronger and wiser for recognising that something needed to change. And I can gleefully say that sometimes change is good!